Hydrox is GONE??? Goodness, me...

Hydrox
Originally uploaded by sugarpie honeybunch

Reading this article from the Wall Street Journal, I was informed that the Hydrox is no more - and hasn't been since 2003.

That's news to me. I must've been out of the loop.

Apparently the cookie still has rabid fans out there, and they are canvassing for it to be brought back, begging the brand's third owner, Kellogg's, to resuscitate it.

It was the first cookie of its type - its intro beat the Oreo by four years. Many think its quality was actually better than its household-name nemesis.

So why did Hydrox go away?

Simple: It was poorly named and positioned wrong.

Imagine this - as you're pushing your cart down the cookie aisle, you notice them both nearby on the shelves. Your mind asks, "Would you like a Hydrox... or an Oreo?"

Are you kidding me? Give me an Oreo any day, just on the basis of name alone.

Hydrox??? It sounds like it should be about six aisles over with the cleaning agents.

Now, when I was growing up, Oreo was (and still is) all glitz and glam. High-dollar, colorful ads with action, all over afternoon TV. Hydrox maybe had one ad - a rather pedestrian effort if I recall correctly.

To make it worse, Hydrox seemed to be the "budget" choice. Priced lower than Oreo, it had that "me too, at a better price" place in my mind. Also-rans typically don't have staying power.

The brand's second owner, Keebler, renamed it "Droxies" in 1999. Better, if only marginally.

The product was crispier than Oreo with a less-sweet filling. Hmmm... that says "sophisticated palate" to me.

OK. The solution is becoming clearer. Oreo can have the kiddies - that battle has been long-lost. Re-name Hydrox and re-position it for an older crowd.

But re-name it to what... Roxy's? Of course!

Change the name from a plural to a possessive. Invent a "Roxy" logo character. Change Mrs. Straight-lace up there in the photo to a fun-loving 50's female icon. Maybe even go all-out retro with packaging, complete with each letter of the name inset into a Googie-like diamond - also raised up on the cookies themselves, too.

There now... a little more fun and much more appealing to a the right demo.

A little more forward-thinking and maybe the brand, in some form, would still be around.